left as mangled image self

Name: Stafford Rhodes Savage

Age: 29

Date of Birth: September 3, 1970

Wand:13 1/4” - Fir - Dragon heartstring

Patronus:Timber wolf

Occupation: Formerly an Auror, currently unemployed.

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Years in Hogwarts: 1982-89

Blood status: Half

Point in canon: Post-Book Seven (epilogue not included), shortly after the war

Personality: The lone wolf sort, Stafford is an introvert (though he wouldn’t name himself as such, and tends to balk at the notion of categorization). He doesn’t necessarily dislike people; he just doesn’t tend to feel that he needs them overmuch. He relies on himself, he trusts himself, and he figures that’s about all that he needs. “Cold” and “detached” would be apt description of Savage.

Stafford has always been a bit too serious, a bit removed. He is a very private person and doesn’t often go out of his way to be sociable, far preferring to keep to himself. He doesn’t tend to recognize his own emotions.

Prior to his use of the curses, Savage was gifted with clear sight, the ability to judge and then to act with strength and speed. It was in part this set quality of his judgment that led him to use the Killing Curse for the first time (it was a tricky situation, and the fall of the Death Eater struck combined with the unexpected use of the curse did wonders for clearing out the area and ending that particular conflict), for though this judgment was invaluable on the battlefield, it tended to overlook difficulties of what might follow in the aftermath.

The use of the curses shifted something in his mind, and Savage has not since been able to think clearly or feel certain of anything. Information, words, images rush together in ways that he cannot understand, that seem nonsensical and often cause pain. Savage can’t stop thinking, and he can’t stop the rushing of thoughts that don’t seem to be quite his own, or at least don’t come according to his call. He learned at Mungo’s to re-route them, to allow them to rush by at a greater distance, but he is almost always aware of their distant presence, and at times they press in as closer threats.

Released from the hospital, he has tried to present himself as he was before, as if the incident had never occurred. To show otherwise would be a betrayal of his own weakness, he believes, and the knowledge that he does not fully succeed in muffling the changes (and that, really, there is no erasing what has happened) causes him grief. Wounds the pride, as well. He feels inadequate, and he feels keenly that his level of usefulness is not what it was. He saw himself always as an Auror, embraced fully the life of the all work at all times type. He cannot do what he believes that he ought, what he feels that he was meant to do. Then, too, he feels that he has largely lost control of himself; even the control gained during his recovery too often seems illusory, ready to slip away at any moment. Lack of self-control seems, of course, another weakness. And all of this brings a strong sense of shame that he tries and largely fails to ignore.

In general, Stafford appears detached as ever, still prefers to keep others at a distance and to act entirely on his own (though giving up some independence to accept companionship would probably be better for him, and at times he almost thinks that he might want this). There is, however, a slight twitch now and then, a shift of the eyes that indicates something unsettled. A deeply-impressed look of the haunted.

Role in the war: After he was taken off the guard force at Hogwarts (where he was stationed through the first half of the ’96-’97 year; unless there‘s a reason to do otherwise, will be saying that he was able to switch assignments at that point), Savage was able to actively participate in the war as an Auror, tracking and fighting Death Eaters and their like as often as he was able. He continued in that until his repeated use of the Unforgivable Curses (the Killing Curse and the Imperius; he never did use the Cruciatus) more or less fucked over his mind and sent him into an uncomprehending breakdown (see below for further information).

Necessary note the second says that Stafford used the Unforgivables because he sensed that they were the best options at the time. They were quick and they were unexpected; on more than one occasion, his use of the curses helped to keep other Aurors alive. Because the Aurors lived while the Death Eaters fell, Savage saw this as, on practical level, an acceptable route. Even from the first use, however, he felt negative effects. The realization that he had used such a curse brought doubts of its own, but the more major issue came with the mental pain that it brought. Using the curse brought a near-total breakdown (once alone and at home), a night of not-knowing, shouting, and unconscious self-injury, though he pulled himself together for the next day’s work. Savage used Unforgiveables several more times, and with each came another shattering of the nerves later in the evening, off the field and away from the office. Each time he pulled himself back together, but each time he was left a little less solid, until finally, he cracked. All sense left him, all distinction of reality fled, and he went quite fully out of his mind. He hasn’t fully recovered, by any means, and probably never will. He tends to appear better off than he is (and he doesn’t tend to look particularly well; just better). The best that he can hope and work for is to keep disruptions under control. How well he manages this remains, I suppose, to be seen.

Since the war: He has been at St. Mungo’s, where for over two years he would respond to nothing, would only claw and speak in unrelated, unceasing flows of words. When he did begin to respond, it was very vaguely, and he was a long time in returning to consciousness. Once Savage began to get some hold on himself, his recovery quickened rapidly; he was determined to get away from the hospital and its constant observation, to take care of himself. As he began to improve, Stafford was given accounts of the war’s end and the developments that followed. These began as very vague indications but soon formed a sort of framework of understanding for his reentry into the world. He took the information, kept it as straight as he could and catalogued it in mind, denying the sense of unease that its existence brought.

Only recently released from Mungo’s, Savage will remain fairly close watch, required to check in with certain healers, to keep accounts of his activities and to follow particular dictates in terms of behavior and habits (if all or any of this would be suitable in terms of the rules and run of Mungo’s). He has indicated his desire to be working, to be productive, and the hospital has agreed to help him find a fairly low-stress job in Diagon Alley, as the occupation seems likely to aid his improvement; he doesn’t do well with remaining idle. Savage sees this as an opportunity to prove his stability and prove that he could handle a more stressful job. Such as, say, an Auror’s job.

((MORE TO COME. for the time being, and for the sake of setting this up, have taken much of this information from my Savage application for insanejournal’s Bloodlines RPG. editing will occur as time doth permit.))